Full Moon

So it wasn’t, but it felt like it:


Ladies night was….interesting. Primarily nice yet unattractive women, people coming out to see us after the concert of a very famous Southern Rock musician, and of course, the requisite gay boys. One of whom came out with his ‘hag’, as the term goes, who left $3 on $150 spent to get him drunk.

One gay boy kept calling me “slim and sexy” or “tall and sexy”. Incidentally, left crap on his tab. And he used to barback for us, so, wtf, and he DOES barback for one of our competitors. He will be called Shortbus because it’s obvious he’s touched in the head somehow in a way I can’t put my finger on, but also very, very short.

One got pissy because two creepers were bugging him, but even before they did anything overt or got in his space, talked about how he had to go puke because they were just bothering him so…insert *eye roll* Dramadramadrama. It might have been about more the….oh…15 shots or so he did? I mean the guy was still standing and very polite to me and was being really nice about having a birthday without being demanding or entitled, but that with a lot of beer? Whoo, yeah.

Watch Hot Stuff and Q make out. That was fun, incidentally in discussion of interesting homoerotic observances =) And watched Bossman ralph up WAY too much sweet tea vodka. That stuff’ll get you.

Almost offered a shot of Red Stag to someone until I mentioned I think it had cinnamon in it. Yeah, he’s allergic to that. Anaphylaxis and alcohol DON’T mix.

A Snooki-look alike started of as annoying, proceeded to drunkenly obnoxious, so on and so forth. Finally, started several fights among guys but did leave %15 on a pretty large sized tab. Much tears, whining, moaning.

One guy apparently in a group called the mom of one of the guys in the group who was spraying beer on people, including the cocktail staff, spilling drinks left and right, and just being like a 2 year old. So, this 30 year old man watched as in front of his friends, his MOM (one of our regulars) came in to the bar, in fuzzy slippers and PJ’s, complaining about missing “Wheel”, grab him by his ear, pay his tab and drag him out of there. That was HILARIOUS! Mama kicked her sons’ butts and took names and that was highly entertaining.

A group of f/b people who looked bored to tears because they listened to one non-f-b friend discuss her recent breakup, for hours. I mean, HOURS, all about how drunkenly awesome she was, how much he sucked, etc. One of the f/b people came over to me and discussed rum drinks and how to attempt to free pour a sangria to try and escape her. Note to bar guests, don’t demand free shots of Patron because I ran out of pickle juice. Just saying. Ms. He’s Just Not That Into You raised hell about this. Because you shoot Patron. With a pickle juice back. Classy. So classy. Gotta love my camofloauged camaflauged redneck corner of the south.

And the music kept getting turned up and up. Peach taught me how to close, do the batch, deposit drop, etc., but the music kept, getting, louder…..it was horrific. She wound up turning out almost all the lights and just dancing the night away with Bossman, Q and Hot Stuff while Dean Martin and I finished closing the bar. I know she needed to let some steam off, she was pulling 20 hours days for weeks on end to open this place and I don’t mind her having fun, but I just felt more and more annoyed than anything. I was about to let Hot Stuff (who incidentally has to open in the morning) know what I needed her to do in the AM, and just dropped it. She’ll figure it out =)

So, featured freakshow is over because it was the WHOLE NIGHT! Whew! I made $150 and am glad to be home. A speech to write tomorrow and another night in the madhouse after.






About Malachi the Drink Slinger

Finally transferring to that four year school in January, my goals made, my life set, the blinders dropped, my past signed and sealed, my future bright and airy, a writer, a thinker, a feeler, someone who is enthralled by beauty, an artist worth slightly more than two shits, a lover, a fighter, a person on the way to become the person I have always wanted to be....

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