I forgot about Taser Lady!!!


How could I have forgotten about Stephanie, Ms. Captain-Diet-Tall-No-Lime, just one of our…..”beloved” regulars. I see her and I’m just……yay……

 

OK, I can’t stand her, but we typically ignore each other and get along just fun. She’s nice when she’s not drunk, she’s obnoxious when she is.

But anyhoo, yeah, she BUSTED OUT A MOTHER FUCKING TASER AT THE MOTHERFUCKING BAR!

I’m on one side of the case that towers in the middle of the bar, she’s across on the opposite corner with some people. She’s being annoying, I’m trying to stay away, then I hear a zzzzzzzzz sound.

Curious, I hear it again, and walk around, and Stephanie has a taser. In her hand. Uncapped and fully….arcing? It was sparking and pretty and blue and actually very cool looking but the thing is that Stephanie is almost trashed, falling over in her chair, and in leaning over to show it to someone almost tased him in the crotch.

In utter disbelief, fury, and laughing all at once, I glare at her (it’s my thousand yard glare, I’m quite proud of it actually) and say something along the lines of “PUT THAT AWAY!” She’s wasted, I get self-protection but she had better chance of scarring some guy’s junk than to defend herself! The bouncer took it away, she didn’t make a fuss, and left, and I’ve seen her here and there but she’s always been more tolerable this time since we had a come to jesus moment.

But yes, she busted out a taser. I almost shit my pants at the stupidity, but, well, another night at the Pub!

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About Malachi the Drink Slinger

Finally transferring to that four year school in January, my goals made, my life set, the blinders dropped, my past signed and sealed, my future bright and airy, a writer, a thinker, a feeler, someone who is enthralled by beauty, an artist worth slightly more than two shits, a lover, a fighter, a person on the way to become the person I have always wanted to be....

One comment

  1. HAHAHAHA! A cop here got fired for letting a friend hold his taser and the friend accidently tased himself. Dumbass.

    Drunk bar patrons DO NOT need tasers.

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